Social and emotional learning is essential for children’s overall well-being and success in life. One of the best ways to foster these skills is through reading.

This week, in honor of National Library Week, we’re suggesting a list of children’s books that can help parents, caregivers, and educators grow kids’ big hearts — helping them understand feelings; identity and belonging; friendship; empathy; and more. 

10 Big Hearted Books to Grow Big Hearted Kids

1. “The Feelings Book” by Todd Parr

This book is a great introduction to emotions for young children. It covers a range of feelings, from happy and sad to mad and scared, and helps children understand that it’s okay to have different emotions. The book also includes tips for dealing with feelings and encourages children to talk to trusted adults about their emotions.

2. “All Are Welcome” by Alexandra Penfold and Suzanne Kaufman

“All Are Welcome” is a picture book that celebrates diversity and inclusivity. It encourages children to embrace differences and shows how everyone is welcome in a community. This book is great for developing a sense of belonging and understanding that everyone is different and unique in their own way.

3. “The Invisible Boy” by Trudy Ludwig

“The Invisible Boy” is a story about a boy who feels invisible at school. He’s overlooked by his peers and teachers, but he makes a friend who sees him and includes him in their activities. This book is excellent for teaching children empathy and the importance of inclusivity and kindness.

4. “The Name Jar” by Yangsook Choi

“The Name Jar” is a story about a young girl who moves to America and is embarrassed by her Korean name. She decides to choose a new name but changes her mind when her classmates help her understand the importance of her name and identity. This book is excellent for teaching children about identity and acceptance of themselves and others.

5. “I Walk With Vanessa” by Kerascoët 

“I Walk with Vanessa” is a wordless picture book about a young girl who helps a new student who is being bullied. The book shows the power of kindness and empathy and how one person can make a difference. This book is great for teaching children about empathy and standing up for what’s right.

6. “I Am Enough” by Grace Byers

“I Am Enough” is a beautiful book that celebrates self-love and self-acceptance. It encourages children to love and accept themselves just the way they are, and it teaches them that they are enough, no matter what. This book is great for teaching children about self-esteem, self-worth, and self-acceptance.

7. “The Rabbit Listened” by Cori Doerrfeld

“The Rabbit Listened” is a heartwarming book about a young boy who is upset and doesn’t know what to do. Different animals try to help him, but it’s the rabbit who listens quietly and understands what he needs. This book is great for teaching children about empathy, active listening, and the importance of being there for others. It shows how sometimes the best thing we can do is to listen and be present for those who are struggling.

8. “My Mouth is a Volcano!” by Julia Cook

“My Mouth is a Volcano!” is a fun and engaging book that teaches children about self-control and managing their emotions. It shows how sometimes we need to wait for the right time to speak, and it provides strategies for controlling impulses and calming down. This book is great for teaching children about self-regulation and emotional management.

9. “Strictly No Elephants” by Lisa Mantchev

“Strictly No Elephants” is a heartwarming story about a boy and his pet elephant who are excluded from a pet club because of their differences. It’s a great book for teaching children about inclusivity, empathy, and the importance of celebrating differences. It shows how friendships can form despite differences and how everyone can be included in a community.

10. “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst

“The Invisible String” is a beautiful book that teaches children about the power of love and connection. It shows how we are all connected by an invisible string that binds us together, even when we are far apart. This book is great for teaching children about empathy, compassion, and the importance of building strong, positive relationships.

Visit Your Local Library This Week!

When you read the words, notice the pictures, and discuss the ideas with your child, you will help them to learn about the many skills that make up social and emotional learning. 

Visit your local library this week — in honor of National Library Week — and throughout the year to find your family’s next favorite big hearted book! 

Happy SEL Day!

SEL Day — a special annual celebration of social and emotional learning — is today! It’s a day for parents, caregivers, educators, and policymakers to promote the importance of helping little kids grow big hearts: What we do here EVERY day at Big Heart World.

To celebrate, we turned to a big-hearted friend — Darryl McDaniels, the legendary American rapper — to learn how SEL is a super power. He knows from his own lived experience the importance of social and emotional learning, and he has written a children’s book, “Darryl’s Dream,” to inspire today’s kids to embrace who they are and follow their dreams. 

4 Reasons SEL is a Super Power, According to Darryl “DMC” McDaniels

1. It’s Education.

When CASEL (The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning) was founded nearly three decades ago, it coined the phrase “social and emotional learning” and asked the big question: What if education supported the social, emotional, and academic development of all children?

Since then, the movement has grown, with parents and educators across the country (and around the world) now recognizing that SEL is an integral part of children’s education. 

Here at Big Heart World, we define SEL as: 

• Learning About Me — Awareness of self: identity & belonging, feelings and self-regulation
• Learning About You — Awareness of others: empathy, appreciation of diversity
• Learning About Us — Relationships with others: interpersonal strategies

2. It’s Communication.

SEL starts the day a baby is born, when he or she is held by a trusted parent or caregiver. This back-and-forth between parent and child grows over time as children learn about who they are (their identity), how they fit into the world (belonging), and how to identify and describe all of the feelings that come with being human. These are the fundamental building blocks of SEL, which enable people to understand themselves and start to communicate with others. 

3. It’s Participation.

SEL equips us to work with others. It’s not just about understanding and managing our own feelings. It’s about empathy — thinking about the experiences and feelings of other people — and listening to them so that we are able to truly collaborate with them. SEL gets kids ready to work together on projects, play together on teams, invent and discover. We can’t do it alone, we can only do it together — which is possible because of SEL. 

4. It’s Elevation!

Through SEL, people learn how to dream BIG and work actively and collaboratively to make the world a better place — to stand up for others and to become global citizens. Only when we empathize with others, and celebrate the differences that surround us can we look across borders, identify critical challenges, and collaborate with others to solve problems. 

Learn More about SEL from DMC

Earlier this year, Big Heart World collaborated with The 74 to produce a special event about SEL, also featuring Darryl McDaniels. To learn more from him — and a panel of experts — about the power of SEL, please watch the full event, available online. 

Some families give balloons on the last day of school; in my family, we give binders. Starting a few years ago, on the last day of school, we started a family tradition of giving our kids a binder on the last day of school, full of summer challenges — activities that will motivate them to exercise their brains, hearts, and bodies through the hot summer months. 

From the beginning, my kids’ summer challenges included social and emotional challenges — fun activities that grow their hearts. Their heart activities included:  

• Write 3 letters to friends or family
• Make 3 new friends
• Do 5 little things and 1 big thing to help other people and the planet
• FaceTime or Zoom with 5 friends who are far away
• Cook & taste foods from 5 different countries
• Write 3 poems or songs expressing your feelings and ideas 

Working through a binder full of challenges might not be every kid’s cup of tea — but my kids love paging through their binders and looking for a new adventure, experiment, or project. They love checking things off the list that they’ve accomplished. And as a parent, I love it when they’re learning, trying new things, and growing their whole selves. 

What If Summer ’22 Was a Big Heart Summer?

As we jumped into the summer of 2022, I started to wonder: What if we made this a Big Heart Summer for ALL of us and our little ones? Most parents today say that their top concern is making sure children are developing social and emotional skills — understanding themselves and others, being able to manage emotions, interacting with others, making friends, etc. What if our “summer challenges” this year were focused on heart: finding creative ways to grow big hearted kids and practice those all important skills that set us up for success in the world? 

This was how Big Heart Summer was born. It’s a creative workbook that families or caregivers can use with children this summer to spark fun, summertime learning, an exploration with our hearts that will help us use this time to understand ourselves and others just a little bit better. 

If you want, you can print this out and go through, page by page. More likely, you’ll want to pick the pages that speak to you — or adapt the ideas to your child’s needs and passions. Remember: Big Heart Summer should be fun, creative, and inspiring; it’s not homework!

In my family, this booklet is an instant hit. My youngest already made a postcard for his grandma — we just need to take it to the post office. My oldest is planning out a series of lemonade stands to raise money to help a friend who is sick. 

I hope that this can help you to grow YOUR littles’ big hearts this summer. Please share your experiences — or other great ideas you have to inspire families. 

Last year, I worked with a six-year-old child struggling to pay attention in school and having difficulty making friends. Like many kids across the United States and the world, he had been in and out of school and had only inconsistently interacted with peers because of the pandemic. The inconsistency of his life and school experience was making him feel sad, lonely, and insecure. One bit of consistency in this child’s chaos was our weekly in person (masked!) visit. Each week in therapy, we played, wrote stories, and drew pictures together.

This is a small story, but it is important: Through our regular visits, this child learned how to express himself in healthy ways, how to ask for help, and how to cope with challenging situations. This very child who was having extreme difficulty interacting with others recently showed me a picture of him smiling next to his group of friends. 

What is social and emotional learning and how is it related to mental health?

The months of playing, writing, and drawing with this little boy as a child psychiatrist were addressing a mental health challenge, but our work together was rooted in the principles of social and emotional learning (SEL). SEL is a longstanding educational concept aimed at teaching children skills such as understanding perspectives, coping with stress, identifying and expressing feelings, and resolving conflicts with other people. 

The goal of social and emotional learning is  preparing our children to live fulfilling lives, maintain strong relationships with others, thrive academically and personally, and contribute to the world around them. 

Incorporating social and emotional learning into children’s early and elementary years can help  kids who may already have mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and trauma, or prevent these challenges from developing them down the line. These skills are the building blocks for children to learn to successfully navigate difficult situations that they often inevitably face, no matter how much we try to protect our children, in the context of a complicated world. (Some children will experience challenges and need mental health support, even if they’re learning social and emotional skills; if you ever have a concern about your child’s mental wellness, please consult with your pediatrician.)

Through decades of research, we know that SEL works: One large-scale study that analyzed more than 200 studies in schools across the nation found that SEL interventions improved students’ attitudes around helping others, helped decrease conflicts in school (including violence), increased students’ ability to identify emotions, and even improved academic achievement. Another study of a program called RULER in over 60 schools found that the SEL program caused students to have less anxiety and depression, better social skills, leadership skills, academic performance, and attention, and even led to less bullying. Another study looking at almost twenty schools in Baltimore followed kids for more than 15 years and found that an SEL program lowered the risk of developing suicidal thoughts by age 19. 

Overall, the research shows that social and emotional learning, starting at a young age when the brain is most malleable, can set children up for success years later, as teenagers and  beyond.

Developing social and emotional skills is always important, but it is especially vital today, as children and caretakers across the country are reporting increased feelings of unhappiness and highlighting the negative impacts of the pandemic on mental health and wellbeing. Several child mental health organizations declared a national mental health emergency for children in 2021. With mental health challenges on the rise for American kids, children need to develop the skills that will help them to adapt and deal with changing and stressful situations. 

Three ways to help children develop strong social and emotional skills

During especially trying and unpredictable times, it can feel scary and daunting to prepare children for problems and challenges that even adults can’t understand or predict. Incorporating social and emotional learning into children’s daily lives can help them develop skills that will support their long-term mental health. Here are three strategies that I have found to be both easily to implement and also effective with young children:

1. Modeling and practicing identifying feelings: This is one of my favorites! Young ones are still learning to understand what emotions are, what they mean, and how to recognize emotions in themselves and others, and how to cope with different feelings. I recently worked with a young girl to create cards for each of the feelings; we used the cards to practice identifying and responding to different emotions. This body chart worksheet is great to help a child understand how they may experience feelings in their body — such as a tummy ache or clammy hands. You can also model for your child when you have a certain emotion. When YOU talk about your feelings, this helps your child understand that  all emotions are acceptable: feeling bad doesn’t mean you are bad. Say something like “When I watched that part of the movie, I felt a little sad and my throat felt tight.”
2. Practicing problem solving: One evening, I got locked out of my office! I used the time with the child I was working with to “solve” the mystery. This empowered him while  helping me to solve the problem of the locked office door. We thought of simple but different ways to get inside the office, such as asking someone for help, looking in my purse for the key, or seeing if we could find another office to borrow. This was an untraditional therapy session, but it showed the child that problems and mistakes are normal, and that even at a young age, he had so much to offer in helping solve the problem! The same goes for solving the problems that come up between people and thinking through how to resolve interpersonal conflicts. You can incorporate problem-solving spontaneously and turn situations that may cause a change in plans as a learning opportunity. 
3. Building empathy: Children today are growing up during times of conflict and disagreement. Research tells us that the ability to understand and take on others’ perspectives actually helps people to build resilience and can prevent mental health challenges down the line. I often let children lead the way in our play and build in opportunities to grow empathy. For example, when a child I worked with expressed frustration with her baby sister, we practiced role-playing (I was the baby and then she played the baby) and played a guessing game of what the other person was feeling. Using stuffed animals and puppets can often help young children to role-play and can help young kids express themselves more openly. Reading stories or listening to podcasts related to empathy are also helpful in modeling empathy for young children. I love the Little Kids, Big Hearts empathy episode, What is Empathy?, as well as the book lists from Big Heart World related to empathy. 

At the end of the day, we all want our kids to experience the beauty in the world, to bask in the joys of exploration, to stand back up when they fall, and to follow their big hearts. And in order to do that, we must nurture both their physical and emotional wellbeing. As a child psychiatrist and former teacher, I have seen SEL change the lives of children from all walks of life, in the clinic, at school, or in the home.