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February 3, 2025 by Admin 0 Comments

Q&A About Fairness With Judge Sanchez

A Focus on Fairness

Sparkler’s Little Kids, Big Hearts podcast focused on “fairness” in January. 

We started the month with an episode about fairness, in which three kids (Bodhi, Aubrey, and Will) helped two arguing Qook-a-lackas through a process of “qook-a-lation.” They listened to both sides of the argument, asked some questions, and then shared some ideas to help the Qook-a-lackas find a fair solution.

We wrapped up the month with an interview with a real-life judge who knows ALL about “qook-a-lation,” Judge Gabriel P. Sanchez, who has served as a United States circuit judge of the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit since 2022.

Our podcast host, Todd Loyd, chatted with Judge Sanchez about what fairness is and moments in his life when he’s learned about fairness. Judge Sanchez shares tips for kids who want to spread fairness and who want to follow in his footsteps and become real-life judges.

Judge Sanchez was nominated by President Biden and confirmed by the Senate in 2022 — an exciting first for our podcast! He’s based in San Francisco, but hears cases across California, Arizona, Alaska, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington. Judge Sanchez has had a remarkable career advocating for criminal justice reform, public safety, and civil rights, while also serving as a pro bono supporter of farm workers’ rights. 

A Conversation With Judge Sanchez

Todd: What does fairness mean to you and why is it so important in your work as a judge? 

Judge Sanchez: That is a great question. It’s a big question. Let me start by saying that as a judge, I work in a courtroom and courts are a special place in our country. They’re a place where people go to resolve their conflicts and disagreements. And when I think of fairness in a courtroom, you know, in terms of doing my job, I think of a few different things. First, I think of fairness as giving people a chance to tell their side of the story, to let them feel heard and understood and that everyone has the same right in a courtroom to be able to express themselves and tell their story. And that’s the type of fairness that we think of as for the process of resolving disagreements. Fairness also can be thought of as relating to who is the one making the decision, the judge or the jury, and whether they are unbiased, meaning they don’t have an opinion or a preference for one side before they make their decisions. So fairness involves that decision-making process. And then the last thing that I think about in terms of fairness is in the outcome. I’ll give you an example. Suppose there are two kids that are disagreeing over who should have a cookie. And each one of them thinks that cookie belongs to me. If they came up with a process where one of the kids got to divide the cookie in half, and the other one got to choose that half of the cookie first. They might come away with it, both thinking that they got an equal half of the cookie and they’ll both feel satisfied. So there can be fairness in the way that things are resolved where both people feel good that they got something out of it. Those are aspects of fairness that come in my job. And I think that translates, you know, for kids and schools and everywhere else. 

Todd Yeah. I love how you said, that we all just want to be heard and understood. I feel like that is a universal, that is what kids want, adults want. I really like how you phrased it like that. 

On our episode about fairness that we recorded earlier, the kids helped two arguing Qook-a-lackas through a process of qook-a-lation. They listened to both sides of the argument, asked some questions, and then shared some ideas to help the Qook-a-lackas find a fair solution. Does that sound familiar? 

Judge Sanchez: Very familiar. I heard the episode and I thought it was wonderful. 

Todd: Thank you. Yeah, those kids were great. Could you tell our listeners what it’s like to be a judge in real life? What happens when you’re hearing a case? 

Judge Sanchez: Well, many of the same things, believe it or not. It’s very important to be a good listener. In a courtroom, it’s important to take in the facts and what we call evidence and to not make a decision or make up your mind before you’ve heard all the evidence.

So it’s important for both sides to get to tell their side of the story as we talked about before and why they think that they should win or prevail. And for the judge or the jury, the decision maker at the end of the day to make up their minds and to ask important questions and resolve the dispute. Now, one thing I should add is I am an appellate judge. So there’s something a little bit different with that. In our country, we have three levels of court systems. There’s the trial courts that people are most used to seeing on TV where there’s a judge and a jury and it’s in a trial happens. Above that is the appellate court, which is where I sit. And then beyond that is the Supreme court. And the role of the appellate court is not to have trials, but to review what has happened in a trial and decide if there were any errors made and if anything else should be corrected or sent back. So one of the things about fairness is even if a person loses in a trial, they have the opportunity to appeal and come to our court and to make their arguments to see if they should win at a different level of review. And then finally, above me is the United States Supreme Court, and then they get to have the final say on these things. So part of my job as an appellate court judge is to have oral arguments and to listen to the attorneys talk about what happened in the trials below and whether anything should be correct based on that. 

Todd: I see. Well, how do you make sure that you’re considering all the facts and reaching the fairest — you mentioned before unbiased — the most unbiased decision? 

Judge Sanchez: At the Appellate court level, we have what’s called the record all the facts that came up in the trial and we have the briefs from the attorneys and they present their side of the story for their clients and we go through all of those details and At oral arguments we ask the questions of the lawyers so that we can get clarification. And what I try to do is keep an open mind about everything all the way until we file our opinions. I try to understand what is going on. I try to understand from the perspective of each side, what their view of the cases. And then at the end of the day, make up a decision based on what I think the law says and how it should apply. And then only until I hit send and we send those opinions to file is when I finally made up my mind completely. But until then, we try to keep an open mind until the very end. 

Todd: That sounds hard sometimes to be unbiased. Why do rules matter when it comes to fairness and how do you decide if rules are fair or unfair? 

Judge Sanchez: So we all have rules, whether it’s in school or with families or our government. And when our government creates rules, when it’s a legislature or Congress, we call those laws. And the reason why that’s important is because the rules are what we all decide in advance about how to behave together in society or in a family or at school. And the reason why that matters is when there are disagreements between people about things, about rights or whether someone was harmed by someone else. We want the judges to decide those disagreements based on the rules, based on the laws that are before us. We don’t want a judge to decide things just making it up on their own or just, know, I just, because I say so, we consider that arbitrary and we don’t want that to happen. So we want to have our decisions be based on something that we’ve already agreed upon beforehand. And those are the rules and laws. The second half of your question, how do I decide whether the rules are fair or not. It’s kind of a complicated question because in some ways judges don’t decide if the rules are fair. We let the legislature or Congress make the rules and then our job is to try to apply them and say which are the right rules that we should apply to this disagreement. Sometimes though, because we live in a country with a constitution that is above our laws, we have to decide if those laws that were passed violate our constitutional rights.

And in doing that, when we examine those issues, those are some instances where judges can decide if a rule is fair or not, you know, if it follows the requirements of the constitution for equality or other things like that. 

Todd: Yeah. I was just thinking how rules change over time, can change. How have you ever had to make a tough decision as a judge or in life where being fair was really hard? And how did you figure out what the right thing to do was? 

Judge Sanchez: Part of the job is sometimes deciding cases based on the law and what the facts say, even if I don’t want it to turn out that way. And that can be hard. There are certain cases where personally I might feel, man, I wish I could rule in a different way because I feel sorry for what’s happening to someone or where it may feel tough that they’re not going to win. the law is clear and it tells me that I have to decide a case in a certain way.

And one of the strengths of our court system is that we want judges to decide things based on those rules that we’ve talked about in a fair way and not based on our judges own personal preferences. And so sometimes that can mean that I won’t be happy about the decision that I have to make, but I have to make it anyway. 

Todd: You know, in my classroom, we’ve been talking a lot about Martin Luther King, Jr., and talking about when we see things that are unfair of how we can have a responsibility as a citizen of the world to stand up for when we see something that’s unfair. And I’m wondering if you can share a story about a time when you saw someone stand up for fairness and make a big difference. 

Judge Sanchez: One of my favorite moments as a lawyer was that I and other lawyers, you mentioned the farm workers. We sued the state of California to try to help protect farm workers who were suffering from heat. They were working on farms that didn’t provide them with enough shade or water. And many people were getting sick and some of them were even dying. And we wanted to make sure that the state was keeping up with its obligations to create better rules and more enforcement of those rules to protect those farm workers, those people that didn’t have a chance to be able to get out from under the hot sun, and to protect themselves when the temperatures got too high. And I’ll never forget driving into the central Valley in California where it gets very hot. And I was actually listening to a audio tape about the civil rights era and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And how those civil rights leaders went out into the communities and talked to people and tried to understand what their needs were and to help them. And it was very inspiring. And he has always been an inspirational figure for me and I thought about that as I was helping to try to do something for the farm workers. 

Todd: Yeah, thanks for sharing that. What advice would you give kids about being fair, even when it’s hard? 

Judge Sanchez: I think being fair is about giving people a chance to tell their own side of the story and being good listeners and not jumping to conclusions, but really thinking about how someone else might feel about something and try to understand their perspective. I don’t think fairness means that you get to have the outcome that you want. Fairness to me is not that you get to have what you wanted, but fairness is about trying to understand other people and seeing if you can meet them halfway, if you can come up with a solution that both of you can benefit from, or at least that even if you can’t do that, that the other person will understand that you tried and that you listened to them and you respected what they had to say even if you ended up disagreeing with them. That can be hard to have those conversations, but I think they will understand that you’re trying to be fair with them and they’re trying to be fair with you.

Todd: You’ve mentioned this a couple of times about being a good listener. And I think, you know, as an educator for young children, trying to model language to give children to have the confidence to stand up for themselves and express their needs and desires or their likes or their dislikes. But I think what’s almost more challenging and difficult is that that other person has to listen and so that’s the other part of it and being a good listener is sometimes even more challenging to teach and to do, quite frankly.

Judge Sanchez: I’ve learned this as I’ve gotten older over time is, one of the important things about listening is also remembering that you may not have the right answer. You may think you know what the right answer is, but sometimes by listening someone can teach you something and you can have a light bulb go off and say, I hadn’t thought about it that way. so listening gives you a chance to pause and say, am I really right about what I think is the right answer? And sometimes you may be, and sometimes you’re not. But the listening is also thinking that you don’t always have the answers. 

Todd: How can kids help make the world a fairer place, even if they’re small, even if they’re young?

Judge Sanchez: I think kids can do so much. I think being fair and being respectful of each other can happen everywhere. If you’re on the playground and someone is being left out, or if someone feels like they’re not being heard, you can step up and say, wait a minute, let’s hear what they have to say about something. You can give other kids a chance to be able to say what’s on their mind, to help others listen to them and to give them a chance to have that perspective. We all can do that. And I think kids are sometimes the best ones to do it because they’re so honest and they tell you whether you want to hear it or not. 

Todd: Yeah. And oftentimes seekers of justice, children, they really feel it when they feel something is unjust, either for themselves or for their friends. I see that a lot in my classroom of kids sticking up for other kids, not more so than themselves. 

Judge Sanchez: I think kids develop a sense of justice really early on. It’s wonderful to see and it’s important. 

Todd: When you were little, was there a moment when you learned about fairness in a way that has stuck with you? 

Judge Sanchez: I do remember something. When I was in elementary school, my mom and I were living with my grandparents, this was in Los Angeles, and we were far away from the school that I was attending. And so we had moved to a closer neighborhood and we were living in the home of this woman who was wealthier and retired. And one day I was waiting to be picked up and everyone else had gotten picked up. And my mother arrived in our little tiny Toyota Corolla, stuffed with our belongings. And I didn’t know what was going on. And she was crying. And what I found out was that the person that we had been living with wanted to, she wanted my mom to pull me out of school to go on a trip to Europe. And my mom said, “We can’t do that. He’s in school.” And so she was fired. And so she lost her job and we got kicked out of our home that we were living in, in all in one fell swoop. And that has always stuck with me because I remembered how unfair that felt, and how helpless I felt at that moment. It was part of the reason why I think I wanted to become a lawyer and ultimately a judge to be able to give people a voice, to be a part of the legal system they give to protect their rights from something that felt unfair to give people a chance to block that sort of thing from happening. So that has always stuck with me and that was an early moment for me that I’ll never forget. 

Todd: It sounds like you have a good heart. It’s probably a great quality in a judge. This is really my last question and I think it’s an important one is do you have any advice for kids who want to follow in your footsteps? 

Judge Sanchez: I think my main advice is to be kind to others and to give people the benefit of the doubt. I think to be a judge means to give people a chance to convince you of something before you form an opinion about them. And so as long as you are willing to see what another person’s perspective might be, then it helps you understand maybe there was a disagreement or a misunderstanding, but that they are coming from the right place. And so I think that’s a good quality to have and to walk through, and of course being curious about learning things and enjoying learning because you have to learn a lot and study a lot to become a judge. But I think at the end of the day, maybe one of the most important aspects is giving each other that decency and belief in each other. I think lately we’ve let our differences pull each other apart a little bit. And I think differences can be a way for us to learn about one another and to grow together that way. So that would be the advice that I would give kids if they wanted to be a judge one day. 

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December 20, 2024 by Admin 0 Comments

New Year, New Goals for Parents & Caregivers

Setting goals is important in all parts of our lives — including parenting and child development — and the start of a new year can be a perfect time to make some resolutions about our parenting and our children’s learning and development. But just like for other types of resolutions (around health and fitness, reading more books, getting organized, etc.), getting a goal to “stick” and lead to accomplishment, isn’t easy. 

Here are six steps families can use to establish and achieve goals as we prepare to enter a new year!

Consider Your Top Concerns

Before setting goals, take time to reflect on what matters most to you and your family.

  • Are you worried about your child’s early learning and development, social skills, or social and emotional learning? What specific concerns do you have? It can be useful to complete an Ages & Stages Questionnaire (ASQ-3 or ASQ:SE-2 or both) on Sparkler to understand how your child is developing and identify your areas of concern.
  • Are you focused on your own parenting habits, such as staying patient during stressful moments or maintaining routines for your family?

Identifying your main concerns will help you focus your energy on goals that will make a difference for your child and your family.

Set a Big (But Achievable) Goal that Addresses Your Concern

Once you’ve identified your concerns, think about what success would look like and how you can set goals that are within your control as a parent. That is, parents cannot control how fast children learn and grow, but parents can control what they — as grown-ups — do or don’t do.  The key is to set a goal that feels meaningful and challenging, yet realistic and within your control.

For example: 

  • Instead of a big goal of “my child will be on track in her gross motor skills,” consider something more specific that you can practice and learn together like: “My child will be able to walk up the stairs in our home.”
  • Instead of a big goal of “My child will be able to express himself in full sentences,” consider something that you can control as a parent, such as: “My child and I will communicate better.”   
  • Instead of a big, broad goal of “I will develop a stronger bond with my child,” consider something that you can control like: “My child and I will spend more time playing together.” 
Break Down Your Big Goal into Smaller Goals

Just like going from zero gym visits per week to seven per week overnight can be a recipe for failure, setting a big goal for parenting or child development can also be daunting. The trick that can help you succeed is breaking down the big goal into smaller goals that you can take on, one by one.

Here are some examples, building on the big goals in the previous section:  

  • Stairs: Smaller goals could be practicing stepping up onto a curb together every day, stepping over a small (1-2 inch) obstacle together, practicing balancing on one foot to a count of three, practicing going up the steps at the playground, etc.
  • Communication: Smaller goals could be playing with your child for 10 minutes each day, asking open-ended questions and waiting for your child’s response after reading a book together, or talking with your child while cooking meals or walking to school. If you think your child could benefit from early intervention or other services for speech, you could talk to your healthcare provider and learn about the options. 
  • Play: Smaller goals could be reading together every day, playing with your child for 10 minutes every day, or trying new “calm down” activities like deep breathing or taking a walk outside together each day.

Achieving these smaller milestones will build momentum toward your larger goal.

Share Your Goals to Get Support from Family, Friends, Teachers, or Others in Your Child's Life

Accountability and encouragement can go a long way in sticking to your goals. Share your plans with trusted members of your “team,” who can provide support and guidance. For example, your child’s teacher might have valuable tips or a spouse or sibling might partner with you in achieving your goals or cheer you on. Involving others also helps create a sense of shared purpose that can help you to achieve your small goals and your big goals.

Measure Your Progress and Reward Yourself for Success

Tracking your progress is essential for staying motivated. Whether it’s using a chart, journal, or app, find a way to measure your achievements. Celebrate small successes along the way to keep the momentum going. Rewards can be as simple as a family movie night or a special outing to the park to recognize everyone’s hard work and dedication.

You Can Do It!

Finally, remind yourself and your family that reaching goals takes time and effort. There will be setbacks, but persistence and a positive attitude make all the difference. Celebrate your growth, even if progress is slower than expected. Every step forward is a victory, and with determination, you can achieve your goals and make this year a memorable one for your family.

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December 20, 2024 by Admin 0 Comments

Winter Wonderland: Play Through the Holidays

Playing together is one of the best ways to help your child learn and practice new skills. Sparkler has a growing library of fun, interactive play activities that you can do together, to help grow your child’s HEART, MIND, BODY, and WORDS. 

Sparkler created a special booklet, full of winter play activities to help parents and caregivers find fun ways to play with their children to spark early learning and development. Parents and caregivers can scan the QR codes throughout the guide to link directly to Sparkler’s winter activities. Providers using Sparkler can use the Library to send suggested activities to families.  

Spark Early Learning With Winter Fun

holiday stress
December 19, 2024 by Admin 0 Comments

Keeping Routines to Keep the Holidays Joyful

Kate Sweeney, MSW, LCSW-C, Assistant Extension Professor, Co-Director, Parent Infant Early Childhood (PIEC) Innovations Institute University of Connecticut, School of Social Work

Sparkler chatted with Kate Sweeney, the co-director of the Parent Infant Early Childhood Innovations Institute at the University of Connecticut, School of Social Work about the holidays — which can be a joyful, celebratory time, and also an overwhelming, stressful time for children and families. “While the holiday season is an exciting and joy-filled time, we can often underestimate how overwhelming it can be for kids, especially the youngest. A big part of that is because these special events and celebrations remove us from our regular routines,” she explained. “Routines offer predictability and consistency for children, which helps them feel safe, secure and in control.” 

Sparkler: Why is maintaining a routine important for kids during the holidays?

Sweeney: Routines offer predictability and consistency for children, which helps them feel safe, secure, and in control. Children don’t get offset by an event itself, it is more about the lack of predictability and routine. This can feel confusing and frustrating for adults: “You love trains, why are you throwing a tantrum when we made the effort to go see this train display?” But if we re-frame our response, and remember that a child’s behavior in the moment is likely expressing a moment of dysregulation due to lack of routine, it can help us feel less frustrated, stressed and annoyed as parents, and instead meet our children with calmness and compassion for how they are feeling.

Sparkler: How can we manage holiday activities while still sticking to a routine?

Sweeney:  Some holiday traditions depend on kids being on their best behavior in new or less-familiar settings. Think about the lengthy services; parties with people who might be new or unfamiliar; different food and meal structure; and travel that can disrupt a child’s rest or nap time. 

The key to engaging in these activities, while also protecting your child’s routine as much as possible, relies on two key factors: PLANNING and BALANCE. 

By “planning” we mean literally looking at the weekend or holiday, with your child’s schedule and temperament in mind. What is moveable to accommodate the parts of your child’s routine that they are most dependent on for a successful day?  If it is nap time, and an event starts in the middle of that time, is it possible to get them to rest earlier that day, or to tell the host that you will be there a little late? Is it best to leave the night before rather than waking your child up a few hours earlier than typical for travel? 

By “balance” we mean planning a balance of active and calm parts of your child’s day — even if the routine will be modified. If you have family visiting and there are parties to attend or activities to do together, can you spread the many new activities over two days rather than all on one busy day? 

It’s also important to be aware of your own self-regulation needs.  When you are aware of your own needs, you are ready to help your child(ren). Our kids naturally respond to us (it’s biological!) so if we are stressed or tense (which can sometimes happen over the holidays!), we cannot expect them to be calm and rational.

Sparkler: What if my child is having trouble adjusting to the holiday changes?

Sweeney:  Kids, especially young children, are going to demonstrate to you that they are having a bit (or a lot!) of a hard time with the additional activities and adjustments to their usual routine. It is so important to remind ourselves that behavior has meaning and is communicating a need. What does my child need right now? Are they hungry, tired, hot, overstimulated, bored? We would respond to all of these in different ways, so consider that in your response, always letting your child know you understand how they feel and even though they are upset, you are calm and can handle their moment of distress.

Sparkler: How can I keep bedtime routines consistent during family gatherings or while traveling?

Sweeney:  Some of this will vary greatly if you are traveling away from the space where your child(ren) typically sleep for bedtime, or if they will be staying put in their familiar bed/room/home. You should start by considering what is going to matter most to your child: is it a particular blanket, particular sippy cup, particular music or white noise app on your phone, or a certain hour that they need for transitioning into sleep? If you are in a new location, it is natural that your child will take a bit longer to fall asleep (this happens to us, too!) so don’t get frustrated. Instead, plan for it and you will be more calm in handling the disruption. Another thing about bedtime is timing. Consider what is occurring right before you are asking your child to fall asleep. Can you arrive to a friend or family member’s home in the afternoon, rather than 30 minutes before you are asking your toddler to fall asleep in a new setting? If you are staying home, but having people over, think about some strategies that can make it easier to maintain consistency in your child’s bedtime routine.

Sparkler: How can I manage sensory overload during holiday events?

Sweeney:  Sensory overload during the holidays is sometimes unavoidable. You will be going to places (even the grocery store!) that are more crowded than usual. Lines can be longer, decorations can be bright and lights can be blinking. All of this is beyond our control. One thing that is always in our control is how we respond to our child in their moments of dysregulation. Take the time you need to calm yourself, remembering that behavior (no matter how disruptive) is communication. What does your child need right now? And what typically works to calm and soothe them? Keep that in mind — or if it’s a physical thing like a stuffed animal or a favorite book — make sure that you have it with you so that you’re ready to help your child. Preparing is like checking the weather forecast before packing for a trip! And if your child(ren) are particularly sensitive to sensory overload, try to plan accordingly. Consider if you need to go to a busy store or tree farm when it is most busy. 

Sparkler: What strategies help when my child struggles with transitions during busy holiday days?

Sweeney:  Keep in mind the importance of expecting and understanding that the holidays can be both exciting and overwhelming for children (and adults!) and that this can be due to overstimulation, increased social demand, and disruption to an established routine. 

Remember to anchor your response to your child in understanding. For example, you can say, “I know you were excited to see Santa, but the line is very long and it is hard to wait.” You can also prepare yourself with the things that support your children to calm down and regulate. This can be different for different kids, but you know your child best.

As you navigate routines during the holidays, remember that flexibility and patience are key to a joyful season. Embrace the imperfections, try to tolerate the tantrums that are sure to occur, and focus on creating special memories with your child(ren).

gratitude (1)
November 21, 2024 by Admin 0 Comments

5 Steps to Grow Gratitude in Young Children

Gratitude — feelings of thankfulness — helps children (and all people) feel less stressed, more optimistic, and happier. Listen to Sparkler’s new song — “I’m Grateful” and learn five ways to help children practice gratitude (also available in Sparkler’s tips for adults in the mobile app). Parents/caregivers using the Sparkler app can find these tips under Tips for Adults in a unit called Growing Gratitude. Providers using Sparkler can find and share it from Sparker’s library on the web-based dashboard. 

1. Say "Thank You" instead of "Good Job"

When your child does something that makes your life easier, like picking up toys, climbing into the car seat without protest, or not splashing water out of the bathtub, thank him or her! Being specific about what your child has done will help your child know what to do next time. Expressing your gratitude will also help them understand how their behavior affects other people.

2. Make Giving a Habit

Sharing can be hard for young children, so try not to force your child to share. Rather, when your child is moved to offer you a bite of his or her lunch or offers a toy to a friend, talk about how your child’s generosity is having a positive impact on others. You can say things like, “Look at how happy your friend is when you share your snack! You really made them smile!” This will make conversations about larger gestures of generosity easier. As your child outgrows toys and clothes, talk about passing some unused items to another child. Your child will have room on the shelf for new toys, and he or she will make others happy, too! Practicing generosity helps children to understand what gratitude means. Bonus points if YOU donate, too — you’ll be modeling generous behavior!

3. Thank YOU!

When you express gratitude to your child and to others, your child will be more inclined to follow in your footsteps. Express your appreciation to the people who help you — your partner, a postal worker, the cashier at a store, or a restaurant server. When you say “thank you,” you help your child to understand the meaning of the words. Soon, your child will learn to say “thank you,” and understand what the words mean.

4. Less Is More

Shelves and bins crowded with toys can be overwhelming, and can get in the way of a child’s ability to appreciate any individual toy. You wouldn’t toss your most prized possessions in the junk drawer, would you? If you’re not ready to let go of the extras, try putting some toys away and out of sight. When your child can easily see and access (and clean up!) individual toys, he or she will be better able to appreciate each toy.

5. Say "No" or "Not Today" Sometimes

It’s natural to want to give your child things to make him/her happy! It is easier for your child to learn what it feels like to be grateful when he or she also occasionally experiences disappointment. Help your child make the connection between what happened and the feelings he or she has. You might say, “I think you’re disappointed that I said ‘no’ to ice cream today. You’ve already had a treat today, so let’s save the ice cream for tomorrow.” Then, when it is time for a treat, your child can reflect on the disappointment, and rejoice in the gratitude of the moment!

Power Up
November 21, 2024 by Admin 0 Comments

Practice Gratitude Through Play

Sparkler has thousands of activities designed to help children (5 and under) build important early skills and spark passions. Here are a few (off-screen) Sparkler activities that can help families help their children practice gratitude. Families can find these activities in their Sparkler mobile app, and providers using Sparkler can share them with families via Sparkler’s dashboard. All activities are available in English, Spanish, and Chinese. 

Filled With Gratitude (for children 3-5)

This is a collaborative game to share things we’re grateful for, played with a jar, plus paper and crayons/markers/pencils.

  1. Let’s write or draw people, places, and things we’re grateful for on small pieces of paper.
  2. Now let’s say a few words about each one, fold it, and put it in a jar. Let’s take turns, adding more and more things we’re grateful for into the jar.
  3. Is the jar full? What else are we grateful for?
Family Gratitude Quilt (for children 3-5)

This is a family art project, creating and assembling a paper “quilt” of gratitude.

  1. We’re going to create a family gratitude quilt. Let’s each count out six squares of paper. 
  2. On each, let’s use pencils or crayons to draw something we’re grateful for: (1) something from nature, (2) something related to family, (3) something related to friends, (4) an experience we’ve had, (5) something related to our home or neighborhood, (6) a toy or stuffed animal we have.
  3. Now let’s create our quilt by arranging the squares in a grid and taping or stapling them together. 
Thank You Cards (for children 3-5)

This is a craft activity that can help children to express gratitude. 

  1. There are so many reasons to say thank you! Let’s make and send a thank you note to someone for whom we are grateful. They may have given us something, helped us in some way, or simply been kind. 
  2. Tell me about your gratitude. I’ll write down your words in a card. Then you can decorate it!
  3. Let’s send our thank you note. How do you think the person will feel when they receive this wonderful card?
Thank a Helper (for children 1.5 years old - 5 years old)

Thank people in your community!

  1. Let’s take a walk and look for helpers in our community.
  2. Let’s look for crossing guards, sanitation workers, delivery people, neighbors cleaning the sidewalk, and anyone else who is helping to make our neighborhood better.
  3. When we see a helper, let’s thank them for their hard work!
Thanksgiving Tale (for children 1.5 years old - 5 years old)

Make up a story about foods you love to express thanks for them.  

  1. Let’s think about all the foods we love to eat!
  2. Every time I say a food I love to eat, I’ll say, “mmm-mmm!” and rub my belly.
  3. You do it, too, if you love the food!

dr. radesky
September 25, 2024 by Admin 0 Comments

Screen Time Savvy: Managing Your Child’s Digital Diet with Dr. Jenny Radesky

Dr. Jenny Radesky is the director of Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrics at the University of Michigan, and she authored the American Academy of Pediatrics’ screen time guidelines. Her research focuses on the intersection of mobile technology, parenting, parent-child interaction, and child development. Dr. Radesky chatted with Sparkler about screen time: What can families do to set appropriate limits? How can families empower their children in conversations about using screens and devices at home in safe, age-appropriate ways? How can parents regulate which games and other digital media are available to their children? 

How can parents control their family's digital media & technology use?

Dr. Radesky: I’m focusing a lot of my research and advocacy on: How do we make sure the platforms that kids really love and are on all the time respect their developmental needs…A lot of it comes down to reading reviews on Common Sense Media, knowing a few developers that are really respectful of kids’ needs, and then avoiding the rest. Because a lot of the stuff on the app store is like fly-by-night app developers that are here one day, gone tomorrow, pushing out apps, and then they’re not on the App Store six months later. In our research, we’re amazed at the lack of oversight in the app stores or on the video streaming, like YouTube types of platforms.

What do you mean by the "lack of oversight"?

Dr. Radesky: If you thought of this as like a food store, another thing that’s offering products to kids — some of them are going to be really fun candy potato chip sort of products. Others are going to be healthy foods. You at least expect some degree of safety built in. They’re not going to contain toxic things like viruses. They’re not going to collect your data. Well, we have done research showing that a lot of kids’ apps [are] collecting a lot of private data. And then we also have found that these digital play things are also saying, come on, buy more, do more. It’s like as if you had an endless bag of potato chips that you could just hand to your child and they would never get to the bottom. So it just feels like a different ballgame for parents. We don’t feel like we know how to grab away that endless bag of potato chips because it never ends. Why would the child want to give that up and go eat some brown bread, you know? So it’s setting us as parents up for a really difficult, difficult battle that doesn’t feel like a fair fight. 

What can parents do to protect their kids?

Dr. Radesky: Sometimes really powerful corporations get away with a lot of things that make our lives as parents harder. And we, as parents, can do a lot of things, collectively, to push back against that and to say, “You know what? We’re not going to download those janky apps from the App Store that just collect data and try to just pop up ad after ad. You know, that’s junk that would never pass FDA inspection. We’re not going to accept the endless bag of perfectly predictive, algorithmic potato chips that my child never wants to put down. That’s not fair.” I should, as a parent, have the option to turn off that algorithmic feed or to just select certain doses or samples or types of potato chips that I’m going to allow my kid to have because they’re delicious and fun and they’re fine in reasonable quantities. But the business model of just wanting kids and users to watch more and more and more isn’t really compatible with sleep or homework or other things that we really want our kids to be able to focus on and learn to do by themselves.

There's a lot parents can do — but should tech companies help, too?

Dr. Radesky: The messaging about screen time shouldn’t be directed solely at parents. It also needs to be directed at this really powerful tech system that exists and determines how much it’s trying to persuade kids to keep watching, keep purchasing. 

So I’ll tell you, actually, during the pandemic, one of my main focus shifts has been less on, “Hey, parents, here’s what you need to do.” But more, “Hey, big tech companies, here’s what you need to do.”

Our kids have been dependent on this digital environment, and it isn’t always designed with their best interests in mind. It’s usually designed by adults, by engineers, for other adults, for these average human users, who are usually white male adults. That’s not the way a child lives and sees the world.

If your family needs a screen time "reset," how would you recommend going about it?

Dr. Radesky: Step one is just take stock. Pause, look around, observe your family’s day, and say, “Okay, where’s a place that we could actually put tech away so we can pay more attention to each other?” During meals or car rides, we know from research when a phone is even on the table with you or when it’s out, and you’re trying to toggle between looking at your phone and then trying to multitask with the kid in front of you or your friend, you can’t do both equally well. You’re going to be less good at both of those things. You’re going to be paying less attention to what that person sitting across from you is thinking or feeling.

So, give yourself a break. Give yourself opportunities to single-task on the people around you.

It’s so much harder to really pay attention to someone else’s mind when you have other things vying for your attention.

So I’d say take stock. Talk to your kids. Your kids are going to want some input, too. They may tell you to put your phone down at certain times of day. They may tell you to set the WiFi to have certain blackout periods so it’s easier for you to resist the call of your device. That may be your first step.

And then when you realize, “Oh, it actually really is easier to have a conversation with you,” or to feel like, “I heard what’s on your mind,” that hopefully will reinforce itself and carry on as a daily activity for families.

Just have some intentional planning on where and when  tech is going to be in your day. Is it going to be in the morning when you’re getting ready? Is it going to be when you’re cooking and you want the kids occupied? The more you can plan it out and make it at discrete, predictable, consistent times of day, you won’t have kids begging you at every moment. Just make it predictable, and then kids will internalize those rules over time. 

Can you explain what you mean when you say kids will internalize the rules?

Dr. Radesky: And my goal is that kids — themselves — can control and regulate their own media. Then you as the parent don’t have to be the policeman who’s saying, okay, I’m putting on the timer and I’m grabbing it out of your hands. Do some challenges with your kids to see can you hand it over to me without whining. If so, great. You can get more tomorrow. 

How do you get a child to hand over a device without whining or being upset?

Dr. Radesky: So first is, if you watch the last five or ten minutes along with your child, you’ll know where that stoppage point is happening. It’s easier to stop it instead of letting the autoplay start back up again when children just want to be carried along.

Number two is notice what’s going on in the show where they might be coloring, they might be dancing, they might be doing something in nature and use that idea and launch it over to your 3D physical world so that you could say, “Hey, this character was just doing that. Let’s go do that in the yard.” So that’s another way to get kids transitioning off.

Third is if your child’s a little older, you can challenge them or give them the responsibility ahead of time and say, “Okay, here’s the deal: We’re just going to watch two episodes of X show, honor code. You are going to turn it off when those two episodes are done, and if you do, you get a sticker or you get a point towards going out for pizza at the end of the week.” Having that behavioral reinforcement for a child, self regulating their own media use, turning it off without complaint is an amazing skill to try to build. It takes a while because tech is fun and it’s hard to let go of. But I recommend trying to challenge kids to hand the device over without a big emotional reaction.

STEM
September 25, 2024 by Admin 0 Comments

Start Your Engines! Sparkler Activities for Little Engineers

Sparkler has thousands of activities designed to help children (5 and under) build important early skills and spark passions. Here are a few (off-screen) Sparkler activities that can help families help their children learn the building blocks of engineering and programming. Many of these activities include early math skills (like patterns and operations), and they also focus on children’s memory, problem-solving skills, and curiosity! 

Follow the Program (for children 3-5)

This is a coding game for littles that helps children give and follow instructions. 

  1. Let’s play a coding game! First, let’s use tape or chalk to mark a path on the floor. Our path should have straight lines and 90 degree corners.
  2. You go first! Stand at one end of the path and close your eyes (or wear a blindfold). I’ll guide you along the path by tapping on your body. I’ll tap your forehead to tell you to take one step forward, tap your right shoulder to tell you to turn right, or tap your left shoulder to tell you to turn left. Let’s try to get to the end of the path without talking or peeking!
  3. Now let’s switch roles! I’ll put on a blindfold and you can help me follow the path from beginning to end. (If my forehead and shoulders are too high, you can tap my knees and toes!)
Machine Maker (for children 3-5)

This is an invention game, using your MIND — plus your crayons and paper. 

  1. Let’s invent a machine! What should our machine do?
  2. Let’s draw a picture of our machine and name it.
  3. What else does our machine do? I will write down the words.
Sock Sort (for babies 0-18 months)

Start to understand patterns with this fun sorting game. 

  1. Help me sort this pile of socks!
  2. Here is a yellow sock. Can you find the other one? I’ll put the matching pairs together.
  3. Here’s another sock – let’s find the match. Let’s keep going until all of our socks are sorted!
Painting Machine (for children 3-5)

See what happens when you put paint on a ramp to grow children’s curiosity and focus!

  1. Let’s paint on a ramp! First, let’s tape the paper to a cookie sheet or other firm, flat surface and water down the paint so that it can drip.
  2. Let’s go outside or into the bathroom and lean the cookie sheet against the wall at an angle. Now let’s use the brush to drip watery paint at the top of the ramp and watch the colors run down the paper!
  3. Let’s change the angle of our ramp and try again with another color. Do the colors drip faster or slower this time?
Catapult (for children 3-5)

Launch a ball into the air to build connection-making and self-regulation skills.

  1. Let’s build a machine to launch a ball. Take a ruler and put it on top of a can so one end of the ruler touches the ground and the other is in the air.
  2. On the end of the ruler that is touching the ground, tape a small paper cup.
  3. Now, let’s put the ball in the cup and press down on the other end of the ruler. How far does the ball go? Let’s do it again!
Rhythm Patterns (for toddlers and littles 2+)

Drum and count the rhythm to start recognizing patterns.

  1. Let’s make a pattern by counting beats. Let’s start by clapping and counting one at a time: 1, 1, 1, 1!
  2. Now let’s try making a pattern by counting beats in twos. Stomp your feet in rhythm: 1, 2; 1, 2; 1, 2…
  3. We sound like drums!
Where are the Wheels? (for children 3-5)

Search for wheels to build focus and expression/storytelling skills. 

  1. Let’s go for a walk to look for wheels. What vehicles have wheels?
  2. The wheels spin around and carry vehicles from place to place.
  3. Let’s pick one vehicle with wheels. Let’s make up a story about where it has been and where it is going!

iPhone
September 25, 2024 by Admin 0 Comments

Digital Media & Technology News and Resource Guide

Find useful news, research, and tools to help families help their children navigate digital tech and media in today’s fast-changing world.

dr mama
August 9, 2024 by Sparkler Learning 0 Comments

The Power of Stories: A Conversation with Dr. Raouf Mama

During Once Upon a Time at Camp Sparkler, Sparkler’s virtual summer learning program, we’ve been traveling around the world, hearing myths and folktales from global storytellers. This week, we were thrilled to hear a story told by Dr. Raouf Mama, a legendary storyteller, natively of Benin. Dr. Mama shared the story of Goat’s Encounter with Tiger

After he told the story — and sang a traditional storytelling song — he generously shared his thoughts on the power of stories to teach and inspire — even in today’s modern, tech-filled world. 

“Listening to stories evening after evening in the years of my childhood really helped me learn certain skills, communicative skills, listening and comprehension skills,” he said. 

Dr. Mama is a unique storyteller: he tells folktales in English, French, Fon, and Yoruba. His stories are from his native Benin and other parts of the world. He’s also a best-selling author and a professor of English and Storytelling at Eastern Connecticut State University.

Highlights of Dr. Mama's insights into the power of stories:

Why are stories and storytelling important? I am a storyteller today because in the years of my childhood, I was told a lot of stories because back then, there was no tv. I didn’t have any books. So the only source of entertainment at home was storytelling. And that would be storytelling in the evening. And usually it was either mom or dad or an uncle or a grandparent who would tell a story to us. There was always a little stool in the corner in the living room. And after the evening meal, after we’ve all done our chores, you know, we would gravitate toward that corner, and we will sit in a semicircle, waiting, for mom or dad or some grown up to come and sit on that stool and tell us a story. The magical opening to my story was my ‘story takes flight,’ because once the storyteller opens the story like that, off we will be, off we’ll go to a wonderland where all kinds of wonderful things will happen. 

What do you think storytelling has taught you? It improved my listening skills, because listening is very important. Not very many people ever learned listening, because listening is the key to understanding. So listening to stories evening after evening in the years of my childhood really helped me learn certain skills, communicative skills, listening and comprehension skills. 

How can storytelling compete with all of today’s tech-based entertainment options? Well, you have to make sure you don’t lecture too much. Just make sure they enjoy it. If they like it, they want more of it. So I just find a way to engage them and to make them enjoy the story and I try to make it as interactive as I can. 

Who inspired you to be a storyteller? I must say my two mothers, because I have two mothers. I have my biological mother and my mother’s elder sister who adopted me when I was three months old. These two, they have passed, but they have made a profound mark on me. And when I tell stories today, to me, it’s a way of honoring their memories; honoring their memories and the memories of all those wonderful storytellers of my childhood.

The Story Dr. Mama Shared at Once Upon a Time at Camp Sparkler

As part of Sparkler’s summer learning program, Once Upon a Time at Camp Sparkler, Dr. Mama shared a story from West Africa, Goat’s Encounter with Tiger. Read along or listen to Dr. Mama tell and sing the story!