How to Support Young Children’s Mental Health: A Q&A With the Associate Director of the CT Association for Infant Mental Health

In honor of National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day, Sparkler talked with Angela Webster, the new associate director of the Connecticut Association of Infant Mental Health (CT-AIMH) about mental health and what families can do to help support their children’s mental health from their earliest days. Angela’s work focuses on strengthening the Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health workforce through strategy and operational alignment, professional development, and the development of sustainable systems that support reflective practice and relationship-based care. 

Sparkler: Today is National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day. What is children’s mental health? How do you define it?

Angela: When we talk about children’s mental health, we’re really talking about how both big kids and little ones feel, connect with, and handle the world around them.

It’s their ability to feel safe, to trust, to express big feelings (even the hard and messy ones), feel comfortable exploring and learning, and to build relationships with their peers and grownups. Children’s mental health shows up in all the everyday moments, things like how they come to you for comfort, how they explore their world, how they recover after being upset.

At the very heart of it, children’s mental health grows through relationships. It’s built in those small, repeated moments where a child experiences the feeling that “Someone sees me. Someone’s here for me. I am loved and people want to be around me.”

Sparkler: Is that the same or different from “infant mental health”?

Angela: Children’s mental health and infant mental health are very connected. Infant mental health just zooms in on the very youngest children — from prenatal, to babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.

What’s a little different is that with babies, you can’t separate them from their caregivers. A baby’s mental health lives inside the context of that relationship. The way you respond to their cries, the way you look at them, hold them, figure them out, all those moments are what shape their sense of safety and trust.

So really, it’s not about the baby alone. It’s about the two of you together.

Sparkler: Some people don’t think about “mental health” being an issue until people are older. Why is it important to think about the mental health of babies and young children?

Angela: Because it starts way earlier than most people think.

The early years are when kids are building the foundation for everything they’ll be, everything they’ll do, and everything they’ll become. They’re laying the groundwork for how they’ll handle stress, how they’ll relate to others, and how they will ultimately see themselves with their grown-up eyes. Those patterns don’t magically show up later. They grow from children’s early experiences.

The good news is that you don’t have to do anything big or get it perfect. The little things you’re already doing, comforting them when they cry, smiling back at them, sitting with them when they’re upset, reading to them, singing to them, talking to them when you are dressing and diapering them, all those little moments are what matter most. Just being there for your child, again and again, is what really makes the difference. Then they understand that you are their “go-to” trusted person — they can count on you and you will predictably meet their needs.

Sparkler: I understand that CT-AIMH is a non-profit organization that mainly trains the professionals who work with children 0-6 years old and their families. You do not directly serve families.

Angela: Yes CT-AIMH is a statewide non-profit, and we do not serve children or families directly, but our mission is to work to promote, support and strengthen nurturing, quality relationships for infants, young children and their caregivers, within the context of family, community and culture through education, advocacy, and professional development. 

Sparkler: Starting prenatally, what are some things that families can do when their babies are on the way to lay the foundation for their babies’ mental health and wellness?

Angela: You don’t need to have it all figured out before your baby arrives. Truly. But there are some things that we can do even before our little ones enter the world:

• Talk or sing to your baby. It might feel funny at first, but it helps you start connecting.
• Think about who’s in your corner. Who can you call when you’re tired or overwhelmed?
• Pay attention to your own stress and feelings. Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your baby.
• Let yourself be curious about what kind of parent you want to be, but without pressure to get it “right.”
• Begin to think about your dreams for your baby and start envisioning and then creating space for where you want your baby to sleep, eat, and play.
• Connect with a playgroup or parenting group in your area. Other families are a great support and resource.
• Talk with your partners, family and those close to you to begin to think about who will take care of the baby if you have to return to work(childcare).

Remember, it isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about beginning a relationship.

Sparkler: What can families do throughout early childhood to support mental health?

Angela: Honestly, it’s the little things you’re probably already doing.

• When your child is upset and you comfort them. That matters.
• When you laugh together. That matters.
• When you name what they’re feeling (“You’re really mad right now”). That matters.
• When you stick to simple routines — that helps them feel safe.
• When things go sideways (because they will) and you come back together. That might matter most of all.

Parents don’t have to be perfect (thank goodness!) There’s no such thing. Kids grow best when their grownups keep showing up. Every  day, day after day.  Every interaction builds their tiny little brains. From the time they are born, to age 5, their brains have formed billions of connections each minute, and their brains are growing fast!

Sparkler: What are the main questions or concerns you hear from families about children’s mental health?

Angela: A lot of parents might wonder:

• “Is this normal?”
• “Why are the feelings so big?”
• “Am I messing this up?”

Things like tantrums, sleep struggles, feeding issues, toileting concerns, clinginess, or sudden changes can feel overwhelming.

What we often say is, big feelings are part of growing up. Kids aren’t giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time. And they’re still learning how to handle all of it. All behavior is communication, and your job is to figure out what they are trying to say, and what they need.  You are a baby detective, and a brain builder!

Sparkler: What can families do if they have questions or concerns about their children’s mental health?

Angela: First, trust yourself. If something feels off, it’s okay to check it out.

You don’t have to carry it alone. You can talk to your child’s pediatrician, a caregiver, or use tools like the Sparkler app to learn more about what’s typical and what might help. CT also has the 211-Infoline that offer many supports that you may be in need of.

Reaching out doesn’t mean something is wrong. It just means you care and want to understand your child better.

Sparkler: Is there anything that programs or systems can do better to safeguard children’s mental health?

Angela: Families shouldn’t have to work this hard to find support.

The biggest opportunity is making help feel easy, normal, and close to where families already are, like at the pediatrician’s office, in child care,  in playgroups, in Family Resource Centers, in Early Intervention or through tools they can use at home.

And just as important is truly supporting parents. When caregivers feel supported, kids feel it too.

At the end of the day, children do best when the people caring for them aren’t doing it alone. Remember, infant and early childhood mental health is all about those very important early relationships!