Young children may not yet understand that everyone has their own thoughts and feelings, but parents, caregivers, and teachers can help them learn to care about others and to feel thankful. By 2-3 years old, children can be thankful for specific things (like a pet or a favorite toy) and by about 4 years old, children can feel grateful for more abstract things (like love and liberty) (source). Children can practice saying, “Thank you” and learn to connect those words with the feeling of gratitude as they grow.
All of this gratefulness is important — not just on Thanksgiving but in life: research shows that feeling grateful actually makes people happy (source) and healthy (source).
So, how can you raise a thankful child? Talk about gratitude, make thankfulness a habit in your family, and be a gratitude role model! Research shows that parents who show gratitude have children who act more grateful (source).
Make Your Own “Thank You” Song
With Thanksgiving approaching and thankfulness top of mind, our friend, the amazingly talented composer and singer Royer Bockus created an original Thanksgiving Song, “G-G-Grateful,” to prompt Big Hearted parents, caregivers, children, and educators to create their OWN original songs about gratefulness.
It’s like a template for you to use to create your own family thankfulness song. This will help you model your thankfulness while also helping your little one explore gratitude.
Follow These 3 Steps
Listen to the song together:
Here’s the version with lyrics. Notice how Royer names and sounds out the things she’s grateful for as she sings!
Here’s the audio with no lyrics:
Brainstorm what you and your child are thankful for. It could be people (like Grandma!), places (like “our” rock in the park!), ideas (like freedom and love) or favorite foods, pets, flowers, books, etc.
This is a great chance to help children understand what “gratitude” and “thankfulness” are. These are big words that might be a bit too abstract for younger toddlers to understand. It’s OK: this is a moment for teaching and learning!
Take turns, sharing what makes each of you thankful.
Now it’s time to turn your “thank yous” into a song!
Play the music without words in the background as you create your own song together.
Just creating your own version of “G-G-Grateful” is enough to build gratitude — but if you want to bring the song to your family’s Thanksgiving table and each add a line, please feel free!
Share your version of G-G-Grateful on social media and tag #bigheartworld! We want to hear what you and your little one create.
Music: It’s magical! It can soothe anxious, cranky, or crying children, ease them into sleep, calm their worries, invite them into playfulness, and make difficult transitions smoother.
Music and singing are parenting superpowers.
Singing and creating songs for each other is also a powerful way to express our love and care.
As the resident musician at Start Early’s Educare Chicago school, I work with mothers and fathers to help them write and sing personal lullabies for their babies, supporting maternal health, aiding childhood development, and strengthening the bond between parent and child. In this article, we give ALL parents the tools they need to start working this type of musical magic in their own homes with their own children. You don’t need to be a singer/songwriter/musician — or even musical — to give your child the gift of music.
Anne-Marie Akin, the author, singing with Baby Ethan. Early childhood teachers may recognize Anne-Marie as the creator of the popular children’s tune, “The Milkshake Song.” Her recordings for children include “Songs for Wiggleworms,” and “Wiggleworms Love You.”
How would you like to create a song for your child?
It might seem like a big, mysterious process to write a song, but it’s not. You probably already make up small songs all the time for your child without even realizing it.
We can ALL write songs — we naturally have the tools! We usually don’t notice when we are humming to ourselves or making word patterns in our heads. That’s a songwriting tool! Another set of tools are the silly songs and rhymes we all make up featuring our children’s names.
As you start to think of the words for a song for your child, remember:
Children love repetition — and it’s good for them developmentally.
Nothing fancy! You don’t need a fancy set of lyrics or an elaborate melody to create a song that will be meaningful to you and your child.
Even just singing their name — maybe with an added rhyming word, maybe just their name — is a special musical moment for your little one and you.
You can start brainstorming with these prompts:
Do you want a slow sleepy song, or something upbeat?
What is your child’s name? A name can inspire a whole song!
Is there a special story behind your child’s name?
Are there nicknames you use in your family? These can become part of your song.
Does your child have a special stuffed animal or lovey, a favorite food, color, animal? Think about including your child’s “favorites” In your song.
As you keep thinking about your song, consider these questions:
What are your dreams for your child?
What is unique and beloved to you about your child?
What do you and your child enjoy together?
The answers to any, or all, of these questions can help you create a special song to share with your child!
But what about a tune?
You can turn any hum or rhythm into your own song!
Or you can use one of our accompaniment tracks as an easy way to create a melody.
Listen to a few notes of the music composed by Sam Wolsk and me (Anne-Marie Akin), then say your child’s name out loud in response to it — kind of like a question and answer. The music calls a little, then you respond, singing (or saying) your child’s name back. Try this with your child or on your own. Before you know it, you will have built a little song!
Track 1: Lullaby Ballad by Sam Wolsk & Anne-Marie Akin
Track 2: Lullaby Happy Bop by Sam Wolsk & Anne-Marie Akin
If you want to add more than just your child’s name name, you can create more lyrics. Try some of these song templates or create your own. Adding your child’s name makes it even more personal.
Get started with a lullaby template!
Here are some templates you can use to start writing your own song for your child. Feel free to adjust the number of name repetitions based on your own child’s name.
“Happy Tune” Template
I like your ____________,
Child’s name, Child’s name, Child’s name
I like your ______________, child’s name
And we both like to ______________. (something you like to do together! Dance? Run? Snuggle?)
“Dance Song” Template
Create a song using dance motions (Clap your hands! Fly like a bird) and your child’s name.
“Sleep Tune” Template
Child’s name, child’s name, close your eyes
Child’s name, child’s name, rest awhile
Tomorrow we will __________________
But now it’s sleepy time.
“I Love You” Template
(This template uses comparisons. You can choose things that are important to you and your child! Think: as deep as, as wide as, as high as, as sweet as, as long as…)
I love you as ________ as _______
As __________ as ________________
Sleep my _____________
Sleep my _______________
I love you.
Share Your Song!
Once you have a draft of your first song, share it with your child! Be sure to watch his or her little face listening to your song.
And, if you want, please share it on social media (tag us @bigheartworld). We’d love to hear your song, too!
“Thank You” to Sam Wolsk, who arranged the music!
Here’s Sam’s bio: Sam is a graduate of Northwestern University’s Bienen School of Music, where he earned a dual major in jazz studies and psychology. He is the founder of DW Jazz Orchestra, an ensemble that plays in Chicago and New York. Sam also plays piano and trumpet for Honey Butter, a local R&B/pop band. He has composed and arranged dozens of jazz and pop pieces, and he loves teaching his students how to play their favorite songs. He sees music as one of the most important avenues of self-expression and connection to others, and he loves equipping his students with the tools and techniques to participate in the conversation.
Learn More about the National Lullaby Project
Anne-Marie has been part of an effort called the National Lullaby Project, created by Carnegie Hall in New York. The project pairs professional artists with new parents to help them create their own lullabies for thier children. Learn more about the Lullaby Project. Listen to this piece by WBEZ Chicago to learn more more about Anne-Marie’s work in Chicago at WBEZ Chicago.
Even before babies are born, they are listening to the sounds that surround them and learning music, and by the time they are three years old, their brains have made a thousand, trillion connections, says Dr. Eric Rasmussen, the chairman of the Peabody Preparatory’s Early Childhood Music department at Johns Hopkins University.
“Music does, almost without a doubt, improve cognitive functions — it makes you smarter,” Eric said. “But the bottom line for me is that music just makes us human, makes us the artful, beautiful people we are.”
Eric said being exposed to music and music education in the early years is a powerful tool that can build multiple parts of the brain, all at once. It can help children to develop fine motor skills; memory; problem solving skills; math and literacy skills. It can also boost social and emotional skills, including perseverance, self-esteem, and relationships with other people.
Dr. Rasmussen teaching music to a group of young children.
“But the bottom line for me is that music just makes us human, makes us the artful, beautiful people we are.”
Eric Rasmussen
For parents, caregivers, and early childhood educators, the good news is that “learning music” doesn’t mean teaching children to count and name the musical notes. Formal instruction like that, Eric said, “gives the brain information and completely bypasses the ear.” Instead, parents, caregivers, and educators should foster “musical interactions” with children that use the ear (and the whole body) to promote meaningful learning.
5 Ways Parents and Caregivers Can Encourage Brain-Boosting Musical Interactions:
Eric shared five ways parents and caregivers can create brain-boosting “musical interactions” with their children:
Sing to your baby without words. “Turn diapering into a song: ‘Doop-a-doop-a-doop-ba-doopity-doop,’” Eric advised. He said he encourages parents to talk in “Motherese,” a sing-song voice that is naturally musical, and to take away the words to create “songs” to share with babies throughout the day.
Sing to your toddler without words. “The brain can’t do music and words at the same time,” Eric explained. “You have two competing things going on.” He said most children are better able to focus on the musical elements of songs without the words. So pick your favorite song and sing it without the lyrics to your child.
Turn conversations into musical interactions. Turn your regular conversations with your child into musical interactions by focusing on patterns. When you point at a bird flying in the sky and say, “bird, bird, bird,” it’s almost like a song, Eric said: “It’s like feeding your child a little, tiny snippet of a melody.”
Play music and sing to your child. Depending on the type of learner you have, listening to instrumental music or music with words might help them focus and learn more! So, turn on the music and play together to learn about music itself, and, later, the meaning of the lyrics.
Get out your scarves and shakers to encourage your child to move to the music. “Movement may be more fundamental to music education than everything else put together,” Eric said. “Music gives rise to the understanding of rhythm, and rhythm is more fundamental to music than melody. Every melody has rhythm but not all songs have melody. What gives rise to understanding of rhythm is movement.”
