Growing Gratitude
Gratitude — feelings of thankfulness — helps children (and all people) feel less stressed, more optimistic, and happier. Gratitude isn’t an “easy” idea; it takes time to learn and understand.
Here are five ways you can help children to develop gratitude:
1. Try saying, "Thank You" instead of "Good Job"
When your child does something that makes your life easier, like picking up toys, climbing into the car seat without protest, or not splashing in the bath, say “thank you.” Being specific about what your child has done will help him or her to know what to do next time. Expressing your gratitude will also help your child to understand how his/her behavior affects other people.
2. Make Giving a Habit
Sharing can be hard for young children, so try not to force your child to share. Rather, when your child is moved to offer you a bite of his/her food or offers a toy to a friend, talk about how their generosity is having a positive impact on others. You can say things like, “Look at how happy your friend is when you share your snack! You really made them smile!” This will make conversations about larger gestures of generosity easier.
As your child outgrows toys and clothes, talk together about passing some unused items to another child. Your child will have room on the shelf for new toys, and they’ll make others happy, too! Practicing generosity helps children to understand what gratitude means.
Bonus points if YOU donate, too — you’ll be modeling generous behavior!
3. Remember to say "Thank YOU!"
When you express gratitude to your child and to others, your child will be more inclined to follow in your footsteps. Express your appreciation to the people who help you — your partner, a postal worker, the cashier at a store, or a restaurant server. When you say “thank you,” you help your child to understand the meaning of the words. Soon, he/she will learn to say “thank you,” and understand what the words mean.
4. Less is More
Shelves and bins crowded with toys can be overwhelming, and can get in the way of your child appreciating any individual toy. You wouldn’t toss your most prized possessions in the junk drawer, would you? If you’re not ready to let go of the extras, try putting some toys away and out of sight. When your child can easily see and access (and clean up!) individual toys, he or she will be better able to appreciate each toy.
5. Say "No" or "Not Today" Sometimes
It’s natural to want to give your child things to make him/her happy! It is easier for children to learn what it feels like to be grateful when they also occasionally experience disappointment. Help your child to make the connection between what happened and the feelings he or she has. You might say, “I think you’re disappointed that I said ‘no’ to ice cream today. You’ve already had a treat today, so let’s save the ice cream for tomorrow.” Then, when it is time for a treat, your child can reflect on the disappointment, and rejoice in the gratitude of the moment! |
Make Growing Gratitude a Goal
In this season of gratitude and all year, make growing gratitude a goal. Start small — with one item on the list — and work on it to help your child show kindness through gratitude.